Life’s Journey: Alone Yet Not Lonely
Back in the day when I was a kid, life wasn’t perfect, but I always had what I needed.
My mom, a loving soul, cooked me lunch and dinner. Even though breakfast wasn’t her thing, whenever I got back from school, a warm meal awaited me on the table.
Dad was always there to drive me to school and, most times, to pick me up. He made sure I had enough money for school and, when I asked for new shoes, he’d promise, even late at night, make the trip to the store.
Mom ran a small store, and whenever I craved snacks, I’d get them from her. Dad would also give me money after I helped him with tasks.
Birthdays weren’t always about gifts due to their fluctuating income, but they always prayed for me, either in my room or the living room.
Sometimes we had a surplus, and we’d go to a local holiday spot for a family celebration. Despite the tight budget, my father surprised me with a second-hand bicycle, and my brothers taught me how to ride it.
In high school, they got me a motorbike and even took care of the fuel expenses when I had no money.
When I faced bullying in my senior year, my mom comforted me, advising forgiveness for my peace of mind.
University came, and despite their limited income, they managed to support me until I graduated. Dad attended my graduation because they couldn’t afford for both to be there.
No matter the difficulties, they were my lifesavers, even with the occasional nightmares involving my father.
But then came a time when I needed to make my own way in the big city, feeling the loneliness of adulthood creeping in.
I battled suicidal thoughts silently, unable to share my struggles with them. Life got tough, and I realized I was on my own. No more running to Mom for comfort or relying on Dad to provide without asking.
It became my responsibility to find my people, as my father wasn’t there to pick me up from work or fulfill my wishes without prompting.
I found my people — partners who stand by me in tough times, friends for both games and deep talks. Yet, when problems arise, I must sit alone, process everything, and find solutions.
Being alone doesn’t mean I’m in a bad spot. I’ve become the person who fixes my problems, even as life gets more challenging and Mom and Dad aren’t around anymore.
Through tough times, I’ve developed, finding beauty in both the hard and good moments. Alone in my apartment or surrounded by friends at a home party, my adulthood mirrors my imperfect childhood. Still, the irreplaceable beauty in it all is something I’m grateful for.
