Why Do We Still Wish for a Long Life When Life Feels So Hard?
Every birthday, every special occasion, we hear the same heartfelt wishes:
“Stay healthy, live a long life.”
But if life can be so hard, why do we keep wishing to live longer?
The truth is, even when life gets tough, something deep inside us still believes that good things can happen. We hold onto hope — sometimes stubbornly, sometimes quietly. This, to me, is what faith is all about. Not necessarily religious, but the human kind: believing in something we can’t see yet. Believing in a better future.
Life Hurts, Then Surprises Us
I’ve lost count of how many times people — myself included — wanted to just stop. Quit everything. Give up.
After a breakup, it feels like love is over forever. The heart says, “That’s it.” But then, a few months later, someone new comes along. We feel alive again.
Emotions — anger, sadness, joy — are all temporary. Wise people say, “Enjoy them while they last.”
But of course, we prefer the ones that bring us joy, thrill, and pleasure. We crave the highs. The butterflies. The dopamine hits. We become addicted not only to happiness, but to uncertainty — the “does he love me or not?” kind of feeling.
When Familiar Pain Feels Like Home
Take my mom, for example. She’s not addicted to drugs, but she is addicted to the emotional rollercoaster my dad brings.
For decades, she stayed in a situation full of confusion and pain. She’d say she wanted to leave. I’d support her. But she never did.
One day, she told me she didn’t go out because my dad didn’t let her.
The next, she said, “He just loves me so much, he wants me close.”
It made no sense to me, but to her, it was proof of love.
Somehow, the chaos made her feel special. Like behind the madness, there was a romantic story being written.
We all do this in some way. We romanticize pain. We create stories that make the unbearable feel meaningful. We assume. We imagine. We fantasize.
Life Is Not Always a Poem
When we read poetry, we search for the meaning behind each word. But life isn’t always a poem.
Sometimes, things are exactly what they look like.
If someone hurts you with their words, maybe that’s what they meant.
Not every action has a hidden message. Not every painful moment holds a lesson or a deeper truth.
And yet, we want to be the hero. We think if we hold on long enough, we’ll be the one who made someone change.
We imagine them coming back, saying, “Thank you. You saved me.”
But sometimes, that “thank you” is just a habit. A polite reflex. It loses meaning.
Eventually, people stop thanking you at all — and just expect you to keep giving, without question.
So, What Do We Really Have?
We have faith — the kind that keeps us going even when life doesn’t make sense.
We have hope — something to hold on to when everything else feels uncertain.
But let’s not be blind.
When truth shows itself in front of you, don’t close your eyes. Don’t pretend not to hear.
Real strength is not just in believing in better days — but also in seeing reality clearly, and choosing what to do next.
